i'm officially over-stressed.

it's been awhile since i had menstrual cramps. oh wait, ultra serious menstrual cramps, so much so i cried to mummy. yes yes, very kiddy, i know. close frds who know me would know i have womb problems, so shut the hell up, u judgmental ass hole. i remembered being in pain whilst SITTING, whilst LYING DOWN, whilst SLEEPING. if only man had menstrual probs for just 5 mins. let's see how'd tat turn out.

i'm sad. i'm very sad. where's daddy when i need him most? i've not had a dad for the longest time. i want to be supportive of him in China but i'm losing hope each day. i dunno wad to do. i cry myself to sleep almost every night. y do pple around me keep thinking im loaded? just cos i drive around dosent mean im loaded. it's not MY car anyway.

pple borrowing money frm me, not few dollars, few hundreds. school assignments, work. i cant take it anymore. i have no one, not even richard to support me in an emotional way. mum dosent give allowance, no work=no textbooks, no new clothes like every other uni student, no necessities. just imagine having NO rest day in a WHOLE MONTH? that's right. for the month of august, if im not schooling on that day, means i'll be at Chanel working. Roster just came out, literally no rest day. 4 tests due in august, where do i find time to study? to work at Chanel i cant work too little days in a month. so why not change to a lower paying job with more flexible hours? i would if i had allowance for travel, food, toiletries and all these.

i hate my life. the only person whom i thought would stand by me dosent really seem to do it anyway. let's face it. im exhausted.

sometimes i just want to come home and sleep without having to on this fucking lappie and type some school assignment out and crack my brain after a long day's work. i cant. i have to force myself to sit on the study table, open my book and READ. and then when im finally done with all these reponsibilities and want to have a cup of ice cold milo-ping, richard says NO U CANT GO OUT.

i dunno wad to do anymore. i want a rest. i just want to let it all out. im exhausted.

help me.